A Very Convoluted Christmas
by Emma Iveli
Summary: Multi-cross. Chopper is rented out for a Christmas Display. Naruto has a present mix up. Orihime mixes up Christmas and Halloween. Haruhi makes her own Christmas Special. Minoru has a Wonderful Life. And it's not a series of one-shots! Please R
1. It’s Twisted!

A/N: Well it's time for my Christmas tradition... a Christmas crack fic! For those that read last year's "The Night Santa Got Drunk" this take place in the same universe... in fact the story will be mentioned many times. Anyway enjoy the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own Lucky Star, Bleach, One Piece, Naruto, Haruhi Suzumiya or any other anime that appears in this story... and trust me... except a lot of cameos... I wont' be able to list them all... and I don't' want to list them all... I haven't even thought of them yet!

Luffy: Emma...

Emma: But I own Mitch and any other OC that might come along in this story.

A Very Convoluted Christmas

By Emma Iveli

Chapter 1: It's Twisted!

One year ago on Christmas Eve, Santa did his deliveries drunk and it was up to Naruto, Ichigo and Luffy to save them.

That has nothing to do with this story, other than the fact it takes in the same bizarre fan universe and will be mentioned several time though this story.

It all started in the house of everyone's favorite punching bag. Minoru Shiraishi reading a book.

That's when there was bright light and some guy appeared in the room.

"Minoru Shiraishi! Don't commit suicide." Said the guy.

"What?" asked Minoru who was clearly confused, "Who are you? And what are you doing in my house? "

"I am here to show you what you life would be like if you were never born!" said the guy, "Oh by the way! The name's Mitch and I'm your Guardian Angel."

"Uh… Mitch I think there was a mix up." Said Minoru.

"I don't think so… let's go!" said Mitch.

And the two of them disappeared.

Meanwhile… on a Pirate Ship… Chopper woke. He was exhausted.

"You okay Chopper?" asked Luffy.

Chopper moaned.

"Well it's Christmas Eve stay strong!" said Luffy.

"Why couldn't she just use that sleigh you got when you saved Santa?" asked Chopper.

"Because it looks too much like a pirate ship." Said Nami appearing behind him.

Chopper began to cry waterfall tears.

Long story short, a month ago Nami began to rent out Chopper to the local Santa… this does not warrant a flash back.

Meanwhile elsewhere in town.

"All right!" said Haruhi holding a camera, "Now there's the huge fight scene with Mikuru and Yuki."

It will now be pointed out, that they were making a Christmas Special based on The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina called Mikuru saves Christmas.

Kyon sighed, for he was the one playing Santa.

"How did we get to this again?" thought Kyon.

This one on the other hand does indeed warrant a flashback.

(Flashback)

The S.O.S. Brigade were watching various Christmas Specials. Now was the newest Charlie Brown Special.

"And now we return to "You Think that's Bad Charlie Brown?"

(TV Scene)

The Spirit of Christmas was showing Charlie Brown other Counties.

"And now we come to Japan! You see the Christmas Spirit is well in full swing." Said the Christmas Spirit.

"So it must be in December." Said Charily Brown.

"No… it's the First of November… due to the fact that there's not that many due to the fact that it's 100 percent commercial." Said the Spirit of Christmas.

(End of TV Scene)

"Oh come on!" yelled Haruhi, "Japan's not like that!"

"Uh…" said Kyon.

That's when Haruhi whacked him in the head.

"I have to say we should make our own special!" yelled Haruhi.

"What is going to be a sequel to the movie, about Mikuru saving Christmas?" asked Kyon sarcastically.

"That's a great idea Kyon!" yelled Haruhi, "The plot will be Yuki kidnapped Santa and now Mikuru has to save him!"

"I was being sarcastic!" yelled Kyon.

(End of Flashback)

"The last day of filming…." Sighed Kyon, "This is will be the thing to get my mind of it."

Meanwhile in the Izumi residence… Konata, Kagami, Miyuki and Tsukasa were talking gifts they got for loved ones.

"So I'm, planning to get my dad that game for Christmas." Aid Konata.

That's when Yui showed.

"Howdy Ho! Yui-Neechan's here!" said Yui… who was drunk.

Minoru and Mitch were watching this.

"So we're invisible?" asked Minoru.

"That's right." Said Mitch.

"Okay…" said Minoru, "You are aware that I have no effect on this situation, right?"

"Um… let's see the next thing." Said Mitch.

Minoru sighed… this was going to be a long day.

Meanwhile at Orihime's apartment, it had been decided that she would spend Christmas with her friends… why.

"So Ichigo doesn't want another Christmas Adventure?" asked Renji.

"There was no Christmas Adventure!" yelled Ichigo.

"Still in denial I see." Said Uryu.

"This is so great! I can't believe that I have someone to do my Christmas traditions with!" said Orihime, "Did everyone bring their costumes?"

Everyone stared at Orihime like she was crazy.

"Costumes?" asked Ichigo with a sweat drop.

"You didn't?" asked Orihime, "Well that's okay! I have costumes for everyone."

"Um Orihime… what are we going to do?" asked Ichigo.

"We're going door to door looking for treats." Said Orihime.

The room became silent.

"Uh…" said Renji.

"Don't say anything and just go along with it…" said Rukia, "It's the furthest we can get from having some sort of Santa Saving Christmas Adventure."

"That never happened…" growled Ichigo.

"What are you talking about?" asked Orihime.

"Nothing…" answered everyone else.

Meanwhile at some department store, Naruto and Sakura were shopping.

"Now I need to get Hinata a gift." Said Naruto looking at his list.

That's when he saw a beautiful necklace that had a crystal blue heart.

"I'm going to buy it." Said Naruto.

"That's nicer than the gift you gave me tonight." Said Sakura.

"Oh… yeah…" said Naruto nervously.

"Why is that?" asked Sakura glaring at him.

NaruHina Forever!

"Oh right… the author is a Naruto/ Hinata fan girl." Said Sakura with a big sweat drop.

"It could have been worse… she could be a Naruto/ Sasuke fan girl." Said Naruto with a cheeky grin.

"If only…" said Sakura who began to daydream about Naruto and Sasuke.

"Sakura… Sakura…" said Naruto trying to get Sakura out of her day dream.

"Oh sorry…" said Sakura nervously.

"I forgot you were a Yaoi fan girl." Said Naruto with a big sweat drop.

Naruto bought the necklace, he had it gift-wrapped. That's when they saw the Santa display with Chopper in it.

"Look it's Chopper." Said Sakura.

"Let's go say hi." Said Naruto.

They went to say hi to the little brown reindeer who was in walking point, crying.

"Hey Chopper." Said Naruto.

"Hi Naruto… Sakura." Said Chopper… still crying.

"Still being rented out?" asked Naruto.

"Yeah…" cried Chopper.

"Well hang in there." Said Sakura.

Both of them left.

"Don't leave!" cried Chopper.

But sadly both of them left.

"Why did they leave me!" cried Chopper.

Naruto looked at the gift.

"I don't want to give this in person." Sighed Naruto.

"Why?" asked Sakura.

"I'm, afraid that her dad might kill me." Said Naruto.

"Oh that makes sense." Said Sakura with a sweat drop.

That's when Naruto saw a postal service.

"I'll send it to house with the post service!" said Naruto using the idea.

"Oh… that's romantic." Said Sakura sarcastically.

And so little did Naruto know was that it was going to be the start of a grand adventure!

Next Time: Naruto learns that there was a mix up with the package, Haruhi realizes there's something wrong with the story, Chopper needs a friend, the Bleach Gang Goes Trick or Treating and Minoru still thinks that there was a mix up involving the angel.


	2. Confusing

A/N: Here's the second Chapter! Enjoy!

Chapter 2: Confusing

Ichigo was sure he was going to be in denial about this Christmas too just like last year… which never happened by the way…

The reason… he was dressed like Santa, Orihime was dressed like an angel and the others were dressed in bizarre elf costumes (with Chad's being based on Buddy from Elf).

Orihime rang the doorbell and it was the Takino residence with Tomo opening the door.

"Oh Christmas Carolers!" said Tomo.

"No we're trick or treating!" said Orihime.

"What?" asked Tomo, "Isn't that Halloween."

"Wait… I thought Halloween was when you go door to door you sing songs dressed lime monsters." Said Orihime.

"Why is someone questioning her now?" asked Ichigo.

"Okay… but I minds as well give you treats." Said Tomo with a shrug.

That's when she gave them Candy Canes.

"Can I join you guys next year?" asked Tomo.

"Sure… of course." Said Orihime.

Ichigo began to twitch all over.

Meanwhile Naruto was in his house watching TV when the phone rang.

"Hello?" asked Naruto.

"Hello… is this Mr. Uzumaki?" asked the person on the other end, "Because is the postal service."

"Yes, this Naruto Uzumaki." Said Naruto.

"I have some bad news and some really bad news." Said the person on the other line.

"What the bad news?" asked Naruto.

"Well you see there was mix up with your package and someone else's. The necklace you sent was mixed up with someone's SM Gear."

"What!" yelled Naruto, "What's the very bad news then?"

"Well the thing is we sort of used a Post Service Ninja." Said the person on the other end.

"What seriously? Aren't those from the crappy filler arcs?" asked Naruto.

"Yeah… but they're being used for plot purposes. I mean, it would be a better read to watch you fight a ninja then beat up a postman." Said the person on the other end of the line.

Naruto groaned, "Oh man…" he muttered, "Why me…"

Meanwhile with S.O.S. Brigade…

The club was taking a break from filming. Haruhi was mumbling to herself.

"What's the problem?" asked Kyon pulling down the beard.

"There's something wrong with your Santa." Said Haruhi.

"What is it because I'm not a bad ass?" asked Kyon.

"No that's not it…" said Haruhi, "Oh now I realized it! Your not drunk."

"What!" yelled Kyon, "Okay everyone knows Santa is a drunkard who was treated for liver disease… twice… But he's in AA now… I'm not playing a drunk Santa… or get drunk myself…"

"But everyone knows that Santa is a drunk." Said Haruhi.

"For the last time no!" shouted Kyon.

"Come on, let's all take a break. I think it will be good for us." Said Itsuki.

"No!" shouted Haruhi.

Minoru and Mitch were watching this.

"You know. I'm sure that this would have happened even if I wasn't here? Right?" asked Minoru.

"Maybe…" said Mitch.

Meanwhile at the Santa display a lot of little kids were climbing all over Chopper.

"Can you please get off me?" asked Chopper.

Sadly this plea went ignored…

"Look Mommy! I'm on a real reindeer." Said a little girl.

"Why is one of Santa's reindeer wearing such a weird hat?" asked a little boy.

"I don't know… but I think it's cool looking." Said another little boy.

"This is going to be a long day." Sighed Chopper.

"Excuse me Kids, Santa wants to talk to his reindeer." Said the Guy in the Santa Costume.

All of the kids whined and got off the poor reindeer.

"So... it's the last day." Said the guy in the Santa suit, "How are you holding out?"

"I'm scared… and tired… and I want to end it soon." Whined Chopper.

"Don't' worry kid… Everyone will be fine you'll see." Said the guy in the Santa Suit, "If you stick with me you'll be fine."

"Okay…" said chopper.

"No I mean literally stick with me. I mean sit next to me, the kids will be so focused on me that they won't be paying attention to you." Said the guy in the Santa suit.

Chopper couldn't help but to sweat drop.

Meanwhile at Hikawa Shrine. Usagi Tsukino and her friends were having a Christmas Party.

"Merry Christmas!" everyone shouted in celebration.

They all began to eat goodies that Makoto made.

"I was wondering." Said Ami, "Is anyone else uncomfortable celebrating Christmas here?"

"What do you mean?" asked Usagi.

"I know… I kind of find it weird that we deiced to celebrate Christmas here." Said Haruka.

"What's so strange about it?" asked Usagi.

"Because this is a Shinto Shrine." Said Rei.

There was an awkward silence.

"Oh right… because this is a Christian Holiday." Said Usagi.

Once again there was an extremely awkward silence.

"Let's just take this party somewhere else." Said Makoto with a sweat drop.

"Yeah… that would be a good idea…" sighed Rei.

Minoru and Mitch were watching this as well.

"Why did you bring me here?" asked Minoru.

"I was hopping one of them would transform for some reason." Answered Mitch.

"Are you a pervert?" asked Minoru.

"Maybe…" answered Mitch with a smile.

Minoru sighed…

"You are aware once again… I have no effect on this." Said Minoru.

"I fail to see you point." said Mitch.

Minoru sighed when he heard this.

Meanwhile with the Bleach crew, they were returning from the um… Tick or Treating.

"So what did everyone get?" asked Orihime.

"I got a candy canes and ginger bread men." Said Rukia.

"Same…" said Chad, Ichigo, Rukia and Renji.

"I got rocks." Said Uryu.

"Seriously? That's all you got?" asked Ichigo.

He and Renji began to laugh a lot.

Uryu's eye twitched, then he used the sack to whack both of them.

"I'm still hating this Christmas…" muttered Ichigo.

"Still beats Christmas in the Soul Society…" said Renji.

Meanwhile in the Soul Society.

A crazy American Protestant was holding was holding Hanataro captive.

"Put the sap down and put you hands in the air." Ordered Captain Soifon.

"No way man! This place was supposed to heaven! This is not heaven! There's gays, people who got abortions, Jews and Muslims everywhere This is not heaven! This is not Heaven!" yelled the American Protestant.

Back with the Bleach Gang…

"Oh yeah…" said Ichigo.

"Come on! Everyone let's go do our next thing!" said Orihime.

"Yay…" said Ichigo extremely sarcastically.

And the extremely confusing Christmas continues…

Next Time: Haruhi rewrites the script, Naruto find the Post Ninja, Chopper gets flashed by a certain little boy, Minoru continues to see what life would be like if he was never born and the Bleach crew carves Christmas Tress... yeah... you read correctly.


	3. Disorganized

Chapter 3: Disorganized

Chopper stood next to the guy dressed like Santa. Several children were telling him what they wanted to for Christmas.

"And I want a pony!" said a little girl finishing her list.

"Okay… you're a little sweetie." Said the guy dressed like Santa.

That when the picture was taken. And the next kid was well…

"Oh sweet god!" said the guy dressed like Santa.

Chopper's eyes widened… as he was warned about that kid.

"Yo! Santa!" said the kid… who was Shin Nohara… better known at Shin-Chan, "I heard your wife is a vampire… is she one those sexy Twilight Vampires?"

"No she isn't." said the guy dressed like Santa.

This writer would like to say she doesn't like Twilight and is just making a joke about Twilight…. I repeat! I don't like Twilight!

"Oh that's too bad." Said Shin-Chan, "Oh, let me show you something."

That's when Shin-Chan took down his pants and began to dance.

"Ass Dance! Ass Dance!" yelled Shin-Chan.

Both the guy dressed like Santa and Chopper gaped at the site, until his mother began to reprimand him.

"Shin! You do not that in front of Santa!" reprimanded Mitzi.

Minoru and Mitch watched this… Mitch was in fact laughing.

"You just wanted to see this… didn't you?" asked Minoru.

Mitch laughed, "Yeah… yeah… I'll admit it." Laughed Mitch.

Meanwhile outside of Orihime's apartment, there were 6 Christmas trees and things that would be used to chop down trees. Such as chainsaws, axes, regular saws and the like…

"Now we're going to carve Christmas trees." Said Orihime.

"Wait did you say carve?" asked Ichigo.

'That's right." Said Orihime.

"Not trim?" asked Rukia.

"That's right!" said Orihime.

Everyone stared at her.

"What?" asked Orihime.

"It's nothing." Said Uryu.

"It's supposed to trimming the tree." Whispered Ichigo.

"Just go with it!" whispered Rukia.

"All right! Let's get started!" said Orihime.

"Um… can you show us how first? I'm a little confused at how we're supposed to do it." Said Ichigo.

Before Ichigo can get started, Hayate Ayasaki showed up.

"Um excuse me." He said, "Can I borrow one of your chainsaws?"

"Sure, use it as long as you like." Said Orihime.

"Thank you." Said Hayate with a bow.

"Why do I have a bad feeling about that?" asked Ichigo.

"It' not in our story so who cares." Said Rukia.

"Okay! Now I'll show you." Said Orihime.

And so began to carve out the tree… whatever that means.

Meanwhile with the S.O.S. Brigade Haruhi was thinking to herself.

"I got it!" yelled Haruhi.

"Got what?" asked Kyon.

"I know how you can play a good Santa with your getting drunk." Said Haruhi.

"Okay… how?" asked Kyon.

"You're either act overly religious or you're a coward." Said Haruhi.

Kyon stared at Haruhi.

"Then again, I don't want to get this have too much religion in this so I think you should act like a coward." Said Haruhi.

"What?" asked Kyon.

"You know recovering alcoholics are cowards right?" asked Haruhi.

Kyon sighed, "Fine… I'll like a coward…" he muttered.

"That's right! Find your inner Usopp." Said Haruhi.

"My Inner Usopp?" asked Kyon.

"That's right! Because he's a coward." Said Haruhi.

"I resent that." Said Usopp who just happened to be walking by.

"Oh… sorry… what you doing here any ways?" asked Haruhi.

"Because it's a park." Said Kyon.

Everything became very silent while everyone sweat dropped…

"Okay… never mind my last question." Said Haruhi.

Kyon slapped his forehead. This was embarrassing.

Meanwhile the real Santa was waiting for someone…

After last year's debacle where the Evil Spirit of Christmas sent his three goons Little Drummer Boy, Composite Santa and the Nutcracker, the elves and his vampire wife made in join AA, where he did the 12 steps program he was on the 9th step, making amends.

And the person he was meeting was Hayate Ayasaki.

"So what did you want to meet me about?" asked Hayate.

"I wanted to make amends for messing up as a kid and saying all those harsh things." Said Santa.

"Oh I see…" said Hayate.

"So if you want to hit me, punch me do what ever you like." Said Santa.

"So can I chase you with a chain saw?" asked Hayate.

"Sure… wait! What?" asked Santa.

Hayate laughed easily as she began to chase the jolly fat man with a chain saw.

Meanwhile Minoru and Mitch watched this.

"You know if you were born you could have stopped this." Said Mitch.

"What were the chances if I came across this?" asked Minoru.

"Uh…" said Mitch.

There was a silence among the two.

"Say…" said Mitch changing the subject, "Where do you think he got that chain saw from?"

"I have no idea… nor do I want to." Said Minoru.

Meanwhile with Orihime's group… everyone stared at her carved tree.

"Okay how did you do that?" asked Renji.

Orihime tree was extremely beautiful, she had cut of many branches, so it didn't have many branches, but the trunk was beautifully craves with many Christmas things like reindeer, elves and what looked like the toys from the island of misfit toys.

"Just do what I did." Said Orihime.

"Okay…" said Chad.

Due to the next scene is extremely violent, only what was heard will be written… even the person saying it won't be said… though two of them are obvious who said them.

(Chain saw noises)

"My arm! My arm! You cut of my arm!"

"Sorry!"

(More chain noises)

"Holy shit!"

"What the hell just happened!"

"Oh my god! Look at all this blood!"

"I have a way to fix this! Roar! Zabimaru!"

(Screams of pain!)

"You're just making it worse!"

"Stop what you're doing!)

(More screams of pain!)

"Soten Kisshun! I Reject!"

And now that's over we can see what happened…

Blood was everywhere, while Orihime had to heal all those injured in the incident.

"Well I can say we'll never do that again." Said Ichigo s Orihime healed him.

Meanwhile a Postal Ninja ran to his destination, that's when several kunai blocked his path.

"What the!" yelled the postal ninja.

That's when Naruto jumped down in front of him.

"You think you will be able to deliver that package! There's no way in hell that you'll be able to." Said Naruto.

"I'm sorry but it's the postal ninja's duty!" said the Postal Ninja.

"Sorry! There's no way I'm going to let you deliver that package!" yelled Naruto, "I like that girl… and there's no I'm going to let her think I gave her SM gear!"

NaruHina forever!

"Yes, yes… week now… that…" muttered Naruto, "Now are you going to give me the package or not?"

"Sorry… but my duty." Said the postal ninja.

"Then we're going to have to fight for it!" said Naruto.

And so the fight for the package began!

Next Time: Naruto fights the ninja, it's quitting time for Chopper, the Bleach Crew drinks hot cocoa, Haruhi finishes filming and Minoru still sees what life is like if he was never born.


	4. Tangled

A/N: Well it's the second to last chapter! I will update the final chapter on the 24th so look forward to it. Enjoy the chapter!

Chapter 4: Tangled

Naruto was facing with the postal ninja.

"You won't stop me from making my delivery." Said the Post Ninja, "Even if you turn into a naked woman."

"No… just no… I'm going to do that." Said Naruto, "Because that filler sucked."

"Fine! Then I will defend my life then!" said the Post Ninja.

And so the epic began!

Mitch and Minoru happened to be watching this.

"Go Naruto!" cheered Mitch.

"I really don't think I would have changed things if I were here." Said Minoru a he watch Naruto punch the postal ninja in the gut.

"Okay… I kind of wanted to see this." Admitted Mitch.

"I see." Said Minoru with a sweat drop.

Meanwhile with Haruhi she had managed to get Usopp (don't ask how, she just did). To help out with the film.

"Can I go home now?" asked Usopp.

"No! Not yet! Once the final scene is done!" said Haruhi.

"When it's over run away… and don't look back." Said Kyon since the scene involved the final battle between Mikuru and Yuki he was taking a break.

"Okay! And cut!" said Haruhi, "Okay we finished filming!"

Everyone else breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now Usopp." Said Haruhi turning towards Usopp only to find he was gone, "Kyon!"

"What?" asked Kyon.

"I was going to ask him to enroll and join the S.O.S. Brigade!" yelled Haruhi.

"I thought so… he had his own thing to do remember, you can't just make him join because his series is the most popular thing in Japan." Said Kyon.

"Damn it… We could have used those number to make out selves even more popular." muttered Haruhi.

"Well maybe if we didn't do Endless Eight." Said Itsuki.

"That never happened!" yelled Haruhi who turned to Kyon, "I still need you edit it."

"Fine…" muttered Kyon.

Meanwhile at the Santa display, thing were wrapping up.

"So… I can finally go home?" asked Chopper.

"You can Chopper." Said the guy dressed like Santa.

Chopper sighed happily; he headed home after getting the money. That's when he noticed Usopp who was breathing heavily.

"What happened?" asked Chopper.

"I ran into Haruhi." Sighed Usopp.

"Did she make you join in whatever activity the S.O.S. Brigade was doing" asked Chopper.

"And don't ask me how she did it… she just did." Said Usopp, "So how was your day?"

Chopper groaned, "Next year… I'm hiding away from Nami." He said.

Meanwhile in the Tendo Dojo…

Akane had just given Ranma his gift.

"Thank you Akane." Said Ranma.

"You're welcome Ranma." Said Akane blushing.

That was when the walk opened up and in came Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi.

"Back off Akane!" yelled Ukyo.

"That's right! This Christmas We decided that There Can Only Be One!" shouted Kodachi.

That's when lighting flashed and thunder roared.

"That weird." Said Shampoo.

"You want a fight! Fine! I'll give you fight!" said Akane.

Ranma decided to sneak away, as he didn't want to deal with this… again… for the 5th time that day.

Little did they know is that Minoru and Mitch was watching this.

"All right cat fight!" yelled Mitch watching them.

"Can you please stop taking me places that you want to go." Said Minoru.

"Well… um… yeah… I can't think of anything to show you so I'm just showing you random things… except for the pieces that are actually part of the other parts of this story." Said Mitch.

"Why are you telling me now?" asked Minoru.

"Because I only have to show you two more things." Said Mitch.

"I see…" said Minoru with a huge sweat drop.

"Come on! There's still much to see." Said Mitch.

Minoru sighed when Mitch began to drag him away.

Meanwhile at Orihime's apartment, everyone was drinking Hot Cocoa… expect for Rukia who was drinking Mild Cocoa.

"Mild Cocoa… what the hell is mild cocoa?" asked Ichigo.

Mild cocoa is cocoa that's hot but not too hot.

"Who the hell came up with that name then?" asked Ichigo.

My dad… you know the one who created that account then never did anything to it. He probably forgot the password as well. It just sits there, alone and empty…

Any who…

"So…" said Ichigo, "Is there anything else you want us to…"

"Um well…" said Orihime, "Unless you guys want to come along, I'm not sure you would after what just happened."

(Flashback)

"The blood!"

"My arm! Someone just cut off my arm!"

(End of flashback)

"That was lazy… you didn't' even copy and paste the actual scene." Muttered Ichigo.

Yeah and you should stop breaking the 4th wall.

Any who…

"So whatever it is it's going to involve Christmas Trees." said Uryu figuring it out.

"That's right." Said Orihime.

"Are we going to wait for the Great Christmas Tree?" asked Ichigo.

"I would have thought she would have figured with what happened last year with Santa… and Ichigo…" said Renji.

"That never happened!" yelled Ichigo.

"That she wouldn't believe in it anymore." Said Renji.

"Don't' talk like she not here." Said Rukia.

"But she's not even paying attention." Said Renji.

Indeed Orihime was having a daydream about the Great Christmas Tree.

"Okay… never mind." Said Ichigo.

"Let's just go with her." Said Rukia, "It will make her happy."

Everyone else sighed and sweat dropped… hopefully it won't end like the last thing… right?

Meanwhile with Naruto , he beat up the Postal Ninja. IT wasn't that much of a fight once it got to it, why? Because frankly the Postal Ninja was weak… really, really, weak.

"Wow… he was really, really weak." Said Naruto.

He began to rummage though the packages and saw the large one with Hinata's address on it.

"Damn it! Now I'm going to have to buy another gift." Muttered Naruto.

That's when some random guy showed up.

"You wouldn't happen to be the guy who I switched packages with on accident." Said the guy.

"I guess… you were expecting SM gear?" asked Naruto.

The guy sighed, "Yes…" said the guy.

The guy handed Naruto a small box, Naruto checked and saw it was the necklace for Hinata.

"All right!" said Naruto handing the weird guy his box, "Here's your box."

"Thanks…" said the guy.

"Next time don't buy or send SM gear that way…" said Naruto, "Or you'll end up like him."

Naruto pointed to the postal ninja who was lying in a crumpled heap. The guy nodded and ran away not wanting to anger the ninja.

Naruto checked his watch and saw what time it is.

"Well I guess I can let Hiashi kill me." Said Naruto with a shrug.

And so Naruto got Hinata present back… and hopefully he won't die because of it.

Next Time: The Bleach Gang is oh so tired, Haruhi realizes something about her Christmas Special, Chopper's mad with Nami, Naruto gives Hinata her present and Minoru learns something about his life... all this and more in the final chapter of A Very Convoluted Christmas!


	5. And Just Plain Hard to Follow

A/N: Well it's the final chapter of the story! Thank you everyone for reading and Merry Christmas.

Chapter 5: And Just Plain Hard to Follow

The Bleach Gang were walking back from the Christmas tree lot.

"I think we must all agree… we're never doing that again!" muttered Ichigo.

"Hey Ichigo! Do you want to forget everything every happened?" asked Renji.

"Yeah!" said Ichigo.

"What?" asked Orihime.

That was when Rukia watched the two in the head.

"How could you want to forget this Christmas?" asked Rukia, "Sure it didn't go very well… and some of the things mentally scared us for life. But were together and that's what Christmas is about."

There was an awkward silence.

"Okay Ichigo." Said Renji taking out what appeared to be a lighter, "Are you ready?"

"Do you think this van erase my memories from the last Christmas?" asked Ichigo.

"It's doubtful, but let's try." Said Renji.

Rukia loomed over the two and began to beat them with her mightiest weapon… her sketchbook!

"Stop it Rukia! We were joking!" yelled Renji.

"I doubt that!" shouted Rukia.

Little did they know Minoru and Mitch were watching this.

"Damn it! I missed all the good parts." Muttered Mitch.

"Um…" said Minoru, "You are aware this would have happened even if I was alive."

"Wow you are a broken record… no wonder you were going to commit suicide." Said Mitch.

"Um… I wasn't going to commit suicide." Said Minoru.

"Sure you weren't." said Mitch, "Sure you weren't."

Meanwhile… where ever the Straw Hats lived… Chopper and Usopp returned home.

Usopp entered the kitchen.

"Surprise!" yelled the crew, "Oh it's just you."

"Hey!" yelled Usopp.

The crew decided throw a surprise party for Chopper as it was his birthday.

"Why are you so late?" asked Luffy.

"Well you see! I was walking home when a crazy girl kidnapped me!" replied Usopp, "And then fortunately she had no use for me, so I managed to escape."

"That's lie." Muttered Zoro.

"Not… really… that sort of happened." Said Usopp, "I ran into the S.O.S. Brigade and Haruhi made me help out with a move they're making."

"You know… the truth is way to similar to the lie." Said Nami with a sweat drop.

"Did Chopper come with you?" asked Luffy.

"He did but he just went to bed." Said Usopp, "He had a busy day."

Everyone slowly turned to Nami.

"What?" she asked very innocently.

"It's your fault you know." Said Luffy.

"What do you mean?" asked Nami.

"It's you fault that he had to work." Muttered Zoro.

"You're the one who rented him out for the Christmas display… without his permission." Said Usopp.

"You should go apologize." Said Luffy.

Everyone stared at Nami.

"Fine… I'll go…" muttered Nami leaving the room.

He went into the boy's room and woke up Chopper.

"What do you want?" asked Chopper grumpily.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry… about renting you out." Said Nami.

Chopper glared at Nami.

"Do you know what this month was like?" asked Chopper.

One excusing long list later…

"And that kid Shin… flashed me." Said Chopper.

"Okay… I'm really, really sorry…" said Nami with a big sweat drop, "Come on let's go the kitchen and talk about this."

They went back to the kitchen.

"Surprise!" said the rest of the crew.

"Oh it's for my birthday! I've been so busy that I forgot about it!" said chopper happily.

That's when Chopper fell to the ground asleep.

"Nami... you're never doing that again." Said Zoro.

"I know!" yelled Nami.

Meanwhile with Naruto he arrived at the Hyuga mention. He rang the bell and Neji opened it.

"Oh… you." Said Neji with a stern face then smiled, "Hinata is in the training room."

Naruto got to the training room, to find Hinata practicing.

"Oh Naruto!" said Hinata happily, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to give you this!" said Naruto holding her present, "It's your gift."

Hinata began to blush bright red, she opened it and blushed even brighter and hugged Naruto.

"Merry Christmas." She said.

"Merry Christmas to you too." Said Naruto.

NaruHina forever!

"We get it! You like this pairing!" yelled Naruto.

Meanwhile at the S.O.S. Brigade Clubroom… for some reason… it was open on Christmas Eve. Kyon was editing the movie as per Haruhi's order. As the remaining . Brigade waited for it to be finished.

"Yes! This will be the perfect Christmas Special!" said Haruhi crackling evilly.

"Um… Haruhi…" said Kyon.

"Yeah?" asked Haruhi.

"Tonight is Christmas Eve… right?" asked Kyon.

"Yeah… what about it?" asked Haruhi.

"How are we supposed to show if it's late?" asked Kyon.

Everything become deathly silent in the room.

"Uh-oh…" said Haruhi, "I ran out of time."

"We could always show it next time year." Said Itsuki.

"That's a perfect idea! Let's show it next year!" yelled Haruhi giving the thumbs up.

"Please tell me this isn't going to be next year's Christmas story…" muttered Kyon.

I don't know… But it could be… it could be…

Kyon sighed and shook his head, hopping that it wouldn't be the case.

Meanwhile with Minoru and Mitch.

"And now I will show something truly shocking!" said Mitch.

"You're really not an angel but some sort of prankster spirit sent buy the evil spirit of Christmas?" asked Minoru with a sweat drop.

"No…" said Mitch with a sweat drop, "But how cool would that be…"

Minoru sighed… "Just show me already."

"Now this one… you will truly see the impact you had a life…" said Mitch.

That's when they arrived at a concert, the crowed cheered all over.

"Who's concert is this?" asked Minoru.

That's when the MC showed up.

"Now everyone I'm sure you're all ready for the worlds greatest idol!" said the person, "Now give it up for Akira Kogami!"

Everyone cheered as Akira, looking exceptionally more beautiful and taller.

"Now is everybody ready for my song!" said Akira in a genuinely cheerful voice.

"Yeah!" cheered the audience.

"So if I was never born then Akira would be the world greatest idol, prettier, and happier." Said Minoru.

"That's right." Said Mitch.

There was an awkward silence as Mitch realized what happened.

"Oh crap!" said Mitch.

"So if I was never born, I would have no effect on any one's life except for one who's life would better?" asked Minoru.

"Uh… yeah…" said Mitch.

"Can you take me home?" asked Minoru "So I can pretend that this was just a weird dream?"

"Sure… I think that can be arranged." Said Mitch with a big sweat drop.

Mitch returned Minoru home and he pretend nothing never happened.

And so everyone had a merry Christmas…

Expect for Santa who was in the hospital after getting attacked by Hayate.

The End!

A/N: Once again Merry Christmas!


End file.
